ANSWERS #004
Q. Should all of your single guests get a plus-one?
A. No ring, no bring—and I stand by it.
Weddings are expensive, and your guest list should reflect the people who truly matter to you. Here's how I break it down:
Serious Partners Count — If someone is living with a partner, in a long-term relationship, or you consider them life partners (even if not married), they get the invite, so we are not being literal with the ring part of the phrase….
Casual Dates Don't — If your friend is seeing someone you’ve never met, haven’t double-dated with, or it’s only been a couple of months? That person doesn’t need to be in your wedding photos for the rest of time.
Exceptions Exist — If your best friend lives abroad and you haven’t met their serious partner for logistical reasons, of course make the exception. But proximity matters…if they live near you and you’ve never met the person, they probably shouldn’t be at your wedding.
Tight Budget or Not — Even couples with unlimited budgets often want their guest list to reflect meaningful relationships. It’s not just about the money here, it’s about the intention.
Photos by Olivia Rae James and Annie McElwainQ. How many passed appetizers should I order for cocktail hour?
A. More than you think—and make them count.
Many sources say 2–4 bites per guest for a one-hour cocktail hour. I disagree. People are hungry, and two isn’t enough. You should offer a variety. Remember people might want to try one of each; I like at least 3 types unless you have a grazing table, in which case you might have 2 types. Here’s how I recommend approaching it:
Aim for at least 3–5 per guest for a standard cocktail hour. If you’re not serving a big meal afterward or your cocktail hour is longer, go higher—think 8–10 per person.
Consider what’s next — If guests are heading straight into a full dinner, you can be a little lighter. If dinner is delayed or there’s no seated meal, then you should have a more robust offering.
Offer variety — Think about dietary needs and preferences:
Something hearty (sliders, chicken skewers, meatballs)
A vegetarian or vegan-friendly option
A fried bite (but not all fried bites)
Be cautious with seafood and shellfish—great as one option, but not for your whole lineup since many people are allergic (myself included)
Photos by Olivia Rae James and Beatrice HowellQ. How do you feel about daytime weddings?
A. They can be beautiful, relaxed, and cost-effective—as long as they fit your vibe.
If you’ve found an incredible venue with a morning-to-afternoon time slot, don’t write it off. A daytime wedding can be just as memorable as an evening one. Here’s why:
Lower Bar Tabs — Guests are less likely to down martinis at noon. You can keep it light with brunch cocktails like mimosas, Bloody Marys, rosé, and refreshing spritzes.
Brunch or Lunch Menus — Brunch-style food can often be more affordable and fun—think seafood, fresh salads, or a twist on classic breakfast favorites.
Chill Vibe — A toes-in-the-sand ceremony, sunshine, and a jazz trio or string quartet? Perfection. Want something livelier? Go for a pool party feel with a DJ.
Less Pressure to Party All Night — Daytime events usually wrap up earlier, which means less stress about high-energy dance floors or late-night logistics.
Photos by Birds of a FeatherQ. Is a second shooter necessary if I’m having a small wedding?
A. If you care about your photos—yes. Even for 50 guests.
It’s not just about guest count…it’s about what you want captured. Here’s when a second shooter really matters:
You’ve put effort into your details — Whether you spent thousands or DIY’d everything, if your details matter to you, you’ll want them photographed. The main photographer is often busy with portraits during that time, so the second shooter handles detail shots.
You didn’t do a first look — The main photographer may be with you doing portraits during cocktail hour, so a second shooter is the one capturing guests mingling and the reception space fully set.
You want multiple angles — Different vantage points during the ceremony or dancing can make a big difference in the final album.
Your venue is spread out — If the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are in separate locations, one photographer simply can’t cover everything at once.
Photos by Clark Brewer and Raya Carlisle